Making art is often a lonely endeavour. It’s also a career choice that always entails being misunderstood. Unless you satisfy the crowds — namely, via money and fame — you won’t fit in. Oftentimes, it’s hard to feel accepted even amongst family or friends. You’re not normal, so mostly you’re accepted/tolerated under the category of the strange or unusual. Even when your art or name is accepted— i.e you’re considered a “success” — it’s often only superficial adulation tied to the product and its associated symbols, whatever that maybe. Yes, the modern world really is this shallow and amoral. And this, too, is hard to accept at times. But every artist already knows this and yet, I don’t think we can choose another path. Would you rather live the life of someone who blindly chases common ideals and all that that entails?
Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.” — from Shakespeare’s Macbeth
So the question becomes how do you endure? How do you stay true to yourself and engage in a world that seems to leave you out? I think it comes back to agency. There’s only so much you can control. And you focus on that. These are the things that you have agency over:
- where you direct your attention
- what action you choose to take
- the attitude you have
In other words, how you conduct yourself will determine your experience. But in a world seemingly gone mad with digital distraction, political division and pervasive greed and narcissism, we can often feel helpless to choose and design our own lives. Most of us struggle in making decisions, especially the big picture stuff. We don’t know where to start. And, like most everyone else, we’re scared of change. We’re scared of sacrificing one thing for another, especially when the “other” is both a hope for something better and the potential to lose whatever little we may currently have. We feel trapped between our known alienation and the unknown consequences of change.
“The reason we feel alienated is because the society is infantile, trivial, and stupid. So the cost of sanity in this society is a certain level of alienation.”
― Terence McKenna
How do we free ourselves from our dilemma? The answer lies in knowing what we must do; it’s about knowing our priorities. Years ago, I made the tough decision to choose a commitment to personal art and principles over the comfort and financial security of staying in the corporate film and animation industry. I made a similar decision after a brief career in commerce many years earlier. What I found then was the same as what I found now, that what I gave up in material wealth and social security — and I did lose many friends and connections — I gained in mental and physical health; more importantly, I gained my autonomy as a human being. I also found my own style of work and a commitment to a life I believe that fosters, if not greater meaning, at least less pointlessness. Plus I got to help many young people along the way during my transition as I passed along my knowledge and skills to the next generation of animation artists.
“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness… the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too.” — William Hutchinson
This could only happen because I gave myself space to breathe and think. We must stop before we go. I stopped rushing and I stopped trying to satisfy the world around me. I no longer wanted to be occupied with the trivial, which was anything that no longer belonged in my life. The brain can’t operate properly in occupied territory. A constantly busy brain full of chatter, fear and egoistic entanglements prevents honest and authentic living; it prevents an existence that carries meaning in the moment and genuine joyful satisfaction.
“Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions.” — Simone Weil
It may seem ironic, but we need to stop thinking for intelligence to foster, in order to progress forward in life. And forward is the only way we can live. Our bodies inherently know this. I suspect this is where the desire for a vacation comes from — the necessity to vacate into open space away from all the noise and busyness. Only a calm and quiet mind is open and free enough to see and listen with accuracy and clarity. Then we can make good decisions like where to direct our attention and how to take the right steps in terms of action. This is true in making art and in living.
So, before you can even direct your attention to the right place — and because there’s so much competition for it in a world where propaganda is the central means of social change — you must first make mental space. Space is secluded time. Secluded time is time that is not focused on anything in particular, free from any idea of gain or loss, free from the spreadsheet of calculated analysis. Make this space for yourself. A bit daily here and there, and then, when you’re ready, setting aside larger dedicated space for deeper, more serious inquiries. Until you can make room for some purposeless and goalless time, your inner self will never get the chance to show you what your next move should be, what the right move needs to be. And remember, this is not a selfish act but one of responsibility. First, be a light to yourself, then maybe, like me, you might also provide a little light for others.
“Nature never rushes, yet everything is accomplished.” — Lao Tzu